Saturday, February 1, 2003
N E T P I C K I N G


Amazing memory

ONE day a guy on a vacation heard of an Indian with an amazing memory, so he decided to visit the Indian and see what the big deal was. He went to the Indian and asked him, "What did you eat for breakfast on July 2, 1961?"

The Indian replied, "Eggs."

The same man came back 10 years later to see the Indian again. He greeted him by saying, "How."

The Indian said, "Fried."

Shortcut

Two men were walking home after a party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death ó we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

 


Assessment

Penny, a good assessment nurse, was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call. She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm. After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will. When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen and done, her husband asked, "Was the patient that bad?"

Penny said, "No, I just didn't want to be the only fool called out on a night like this."

Health conscious

A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?"

"My fee is $ 500," replies the physician.

"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one charges that much!"

"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could adjust my fee to $ 300."

"Thatís too much for one visit. Ridiculous!"

"Well, then, could you afford $ 200?"

"Who has that kind of money?"

"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated, "Just give me fifty bucks and get out."

"I can give you twenty" says the man.

"I don't understand you," says the doctor. "Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in New York if you have no money?"

"Listen, doctor", says the patient, "When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive."

Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma