|Saturday, March 8, 2003||
THERE was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples directly off the tree. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig.
The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, "This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!"
The farmer looked
puzzled and replied, "What's time to a pig?"
Pakistan President calls George Bush on September 11, 2001.Excerpts from the conversation:
Musharraf: "Mr. President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings...I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that...It was not...
Bush: "What buildings? What people?"
Musharraf: "Oh, and what time is it in America now?"
Bush: "It's eight in the morning."
Musharraf: "Oops.. Will call back in an hour!"
A self-centered, selfish, unbelieving man died and was delivered into the Devil's hands. "You will be spending eternity here, but I'll let you pick your own room from three I'll show you," the Devil said. In the first room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a brick floor. "I don't like that," said the man. "Show me the second room."
In the second room were thousands of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. "Well, that's better than brick," the man said, "but show me the third room."
In the third, thousands of people were standing ankle-deep in a room full of maggot infested garbage, all drinking coffee.
"I'll choose this room," he said.
Into the room he went and the door slammed behind him.
Immediately, the voice of a minor demon rang out, "O.K., coffee break is over, back on your heads."
Just a little help
The cavalryman was galloping down the road, rushing to catch up with his regiment. Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground. Lying in the dirt with a broken leg, terrified of the approaching enemy, the soldier called out: "All you saints in heaven, help me get up on my horse!"
Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the horse's back and fell off the other side. Once again on the ground, he called to the heavens: "All right, just half of you this time!"
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