Saturday, March 15, 2003

Pakistani team abducted

A man was on his bike during a traffic jam in Lahore, and he saw a young man walking between the cars, apparently asking something from everyone as he passed. The youngster walks up to the man on bike and pats on his shoulder and asks: "Hey, Did you hear the news? The Pakistan cricket team is being held hostage, and they are asking Rs 100 crore for their release. If they don't pay it, they have threatened to pour petrol on the players, and light them!".

"Oh God!" the man on bike said, "This is just unbelievable". "That's why I'm walking from person to person, to collect", said the young man. While the man on bike was getting his wallet out of his pocket, he asked: "how much most people usually give"? The young man said: "Well, car drivers gave about 5 litres, and bikers gave 2 litres of petrol!"


A man visited a psychiatrist to talk about his dreams. "Every night," the man said, "I dream that these three hideous monsters are sitting on the edge of my bed, ready to attack me."

"Hmmm," said the doctor. "I feel sure I can cure you of this problem. But the treatment will be costly. I charge $200 per week and it may take a couple of years to solve your problem."

"Two hundred dollars per session!" the man gasped. "Forget about getting rid of the monsters, doctor. I think I'll go home and try to make friends with them!"


New joke

Phil had just joined a club after his friend had recommended it (being a member for quite some time). They were sitting at the bar having their beers when someone yelled "21" and there was a small uproar of laughter. A few minutes later someone else yelled "34" and another roar of laughter rose up. Phil, confused about this, asked his friend, "Why is everyone laughing at the numbers being called out?" His friend said, "Well, we've been telling the same jokes for so many years that we just numbered them all and if you want to tell a joke you just call out a number."

Phil nodded and said "Can I try?" His friend nodded and Phil called out "121" and everyone in the club roared with laughter and it didn't die down for at least another 15 minutes after.

"Why did everyone laugh so hard at that joke?" Phil asked. His friend said with a chuckle, "We haven't heard that one before."


Greg and Sharon have been married for 25 years. Sharon likes to sing. She decided to join the church choir. From time to time, she would practise while she was in the kitchen.

Whenever she would start a song, Greg would head outside to the porch.

Sharon, with hurt feelings, said, "What's the matter, Greg? Don't you like my singing?"

Greg replied, "Honey, I love your singing, but I just want to make sure the neighbours know I'm not beating you."


A teacher asked one of the boys in her class, "Can people predict the future with cards?"

His response was, "My mother can."

The teacher replied, "Really?"

The young boy was quick to explain, "Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."

Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma