|Saturday, May 3, 2003||
A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."
"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."
The woman below responded, "You must be in management."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going.
You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect
people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in
exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow,
it's all my fault."
After finishing an out-of-town errand, a man discovered that his car wouldn't start because it was out of gas. A passer-by told him there was a service station a half-mile away, so he took a gas can from the trunk and trudged the distance in the sweltering sun.
The attendant filled his two-gallon can, and he lugged it back and poured the gas into the tank. But when he tried to unlock the car door, it wouldn't open. Just then, he noticed an identical old car parked a short distance away. That was his car and he had filled a stranger's gas tank. Wearily he again walked back to the station. "You know," the attendant suggested helpfully, "instead of walking back and forth to fill the tank from the can, you could put a couple of gallons in the tank and then drive the car here."
Esther Cohen was the mother of three, very active small boys. One summer evening she was playing cops and robbers with them in the back yard after dinner.
One of the boys "shot" his mother and yelled, "Bang! You're dead." She slumped to the ground and when she didn't get up for 20 minutes, a neighbour came over to see if she had been hurt in the fall. When the neighbour bent over, the overworked mother opened one eye and said, "Shhh. Don't give me away. This is the only chance I've had to rest all day."
(Culled from the Net by