TV remote

"Cash, cheque or charge?" the shopkeeper asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet he noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"Do you always carry your TV remote?" he asked.

"No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him.

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, "Don't be surprised. This is just part of my job."

"Incredible!" exclaimed the man. "I can't believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!"

"No, no," pleaded the dog. "Please don't! If that man finds out I can talk, he’ll make me answer the phone as well."

A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed with what he could do. Everyone except Mr Smith, the town grouch. So Mr Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he went and told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste anything', so what are you going to do?"

The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43." Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wondered.

So the doctor brought the jar and told Mr. Smith to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spat it out, "This is gross!" he yelled.

"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," said the doctor. So Mr. Smith went home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith went back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he started, "I can't remember!"

The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little and told Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."

A Russian, an American and a blonde were discussing space travel. The American argued that because they were the first to put a man on the moon, America was superior in space travel. The blonde stated her kind were going to be far superior to Russia and America because they were going to be the first to land on the sun. The Russian asked the blonde if she was nuts. Didn't she know that it was impossible to land on the sun? The American asked her just how in the hell she thought they could accomplish this considering the heat and extreme brightness of the sun." well", the blonde replied, "we're going at night."

In a hat shop a salesgirl gushed, "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger."

"Then I don't want it," retorted the customer. "I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every time I take off my hat!"

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)