Saturday, June 14, 2003

Ring the bell

PASSING an office building late one night, the blonde saw a sign that said, "Press bell for night watchman." She did so, and after several minutes, she heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The uniformed man proceeded to unlock the first gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally made his way through the revolving door.

"Well," he snarled at the blonde, "What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know why you can't ring it yourself."


At a dinner party, several of the guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. "No woman," said one man, scornfully, "can keep a secret."

"I don't know about that," answered a woman guest. "I have kept my age a secret since I was twentyone."

"You'll let it out some day," the man insisted.

"I hardly think so!" responded the lady. "When a woman has kept a secret for twentyseven years, she can keep it forever."


Bad day

This is a true story.

A man was working on his motor cycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine of the motor cycle and somehow, the motor cycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through the glass patio door and the vehicle landed onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and found her husband lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, and the motor cycle next to him and the patio door shattered. She summoned an ambulance immediately. After the ambulance arrived and transported the husband to the hospital, the wife pushed the vehicle outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, she obtained some papers towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to come home. He looked at the shattered patio door and his damaged motor cycle. He became despondent, went into the bathroom, sat on the toilet and lit a cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while still seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found him lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he had burns on his back and the back of his legs. She again ran to the phone and called for an ambulance.

The same ambulance crew arrived and loaded the husband on the stretcher. While they were taking the husband on the stretcher, one of the paramedics asked the wife how he had burnt himself. She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them tipped the stretcher and dumped the husband out. He fell down and broke his ankle!

( Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)