Car problems

A lady was out driving her car and when she stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing. The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as the lady continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally she got out of her car and approached the guy in the car behind her.

"I can't seem to get my car started," she said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."

A blonde went to a store, collected the grocery that he wanted and reached the counter. The sales girl at the counter started processing his bill. The blonde asked " Where is the fat ?" The girl could not understand what he was pointing at. " Excuse me sir, what fat?" she said in absolute bewilderment.

"Yes Fat. Give me the fat" he started shouting and arguing with the lady when everyone around them gathered at the counter. The manager of the store heard the noise and made his way to the counter to ask, "What's the problem"?

The blonde replied, "Hey Manager! Look, I took a yogurt from your stores and it was written 'Fat free' on that but this lady refuses to give me the Fat and I feel cheated."

Supporting a family

The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"

The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."

An old man asks a wizard if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The wizard replies, "Maybe, but you'll have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man answers without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, "What is two and two?" The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was "twentytwo."

The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a calculator and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.

The next person was a lawyer.He stated that in the case of Jenkins v. Commr of Stamp Duties (Qld), two and two was proven to be four.

The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, "How much is two and two?" The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

He got the job.

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)