Gambling

Three persons were gambling at a public place when the police raided the game. Turning to one of them, the lead police officer said, "So you were gambling?" "No, officer," he said, "I was not gambling, I was going to the market and happened to take rest here for a few minutes." The officer then asked the second, "And what about you? He said "No sir, I am new to this town and just stopped here to ask them for directions." Turning to the third one, the officer again asked, "You were certainly gambling. You can't deny it since you have a pack of cards in your hands."

Shrugging his shoulders, he replied, "With whom?"

Wedding gift

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all the presents they had received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time.

The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the more intimate apparel was put in the bedroom drawers. A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show, for which tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope was a small piece of paper with a single line: "Guess who sent them!" The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value. And on the bare table in the dining-room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: "Now you know!"

Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?" The other replied, "You're damn right we are! We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?" To which the first replied alarmed, "I just bit my tongue."

(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)