Habitual shopper

WHILE walking on the mall, a man saw an elderly couple holding hands while they were walking. As they approached, he commented on how romantic it was.

The old man replied, "We have been holding hands when we go out in public for over 30 years. I have to.

If I let go, she shops.

A man entered a very ritzy, uptown store to look for some pyjamas. He found a pair he loved and took them to the sales clerk to ask her about them. "The label inside says that these pyjamas are `shrink-resistant'. What exactly does that mean? Does that mean it will shrink or not?"

"Sir," the sales clerk replied, "that label means that it will shrink...but it really doesn't want to."

One day a blond was at home. He went to the kitchen, opened the sugar jar, peeped inside and closed it. His wife saw him do that. After some time, he went to the kitchen again, opened the sugar jar, peeped inside and closed it. His wife saw him again. He did this again and again for quite a number of times. His wife wondered why was he doing this strange act. Finally, when she had enough of this nonsense, she asked him for a reason. He replied, "I had gone to our family doctor for a check-up. He told me I was a sugar patient and has advised me to get the sugar level checked often."

A man had been crossing a street when a car slammed into him. The pedestrian sued the motorist, whose lawyer made the following statement at the end of the trial. "Your honour, my client was not at fault. He has been driving a car for 30 years, and has never had an accident, nor gotten so much as a speeding ticket. I do not think I need to say any more."

Unimpressed, the lawyer for the plaintiff rose. "Your honour, since the counsel insists on bringing up the matter of experience, may I remind the court that my client has been walking for over 70 years`85"

A wise school teacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of class each year. "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything they say happens at home."

Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma