September 20, 2003
A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.
"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed, I called out, 'Is that you, Jim?' And that cured him."
"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how?"
" My husband's name is Bill."
An elderly couple are both lying in bed one morning, having just awakened from a good night's sleep. He takes her hand and she responds, "Don't touch me."
"Why not," he asks. She answers back, "Because I'm dead."
The husband says to her, "What are you talking about? We're both lying here in bed together and talking to one another."
The wife says, "No, I'm definitely dead."
Her husband insists, "You're not dead. What in the world makes you think you're dead?"
His wife answers,
"I know I'm dead because I woke up this morning and nothing
A group of kindergarten children were on a class outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men.
One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
"Yes," answered the policeman.
"Well," wondered the child, "why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
A humble but friendly beggar used to ply his trade in our town. A rather affluent man came toward the beggar one day. In his most solicitous tone, the down-and-out-one said, "May the blessing of God follow you all the days of your life." But the affluent gentleman walked on by without acknowledging the humble man's existence — leading him to finish his sentence: "And may the blessing never overtake you."
Culled from the Net by
This feature was
published on September 13, 2003