Saturday, October 18, 2003
Schwartz was the oldest of seven children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to write, so when he married and started a checking account, he signed his checks simply "XX".
Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.
He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. "Schwartz," said the banker, "I need to ask you about this check. We weren't sure you had really signed it. All these years you've been signing your checks 'XX', but we just got one that was signed with three XXX's..." Schwartz answered, "No problem, my friend. It's just that since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name."
A Sunday school teacher of preschoolers asked the students to learn one fact about Jesus by the following Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned. Susie said, "He was born in a manger." Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple." Little Johnny said, "He has a red pickup truck but he doesn't know how to drive it." Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny?"
"From my Daddy," said Johnny. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him,
'Jesus Christ! Why don't you learn how to drive?'"
Three elderly persons having grandchildren were talking about their families, when one of them raised the question: "What will our grandchildren say about us in fifty years. One named Chuck said, "Fifty years from now I want my grandchildren to say about me, 'He was a devoted grandfather.'"
The second, named John, said, "Fifty years from now I want the grandchildren to say, 'He was a good old wise man.'" The two turned to the third. They asked what he wanted his grandchildren to say. He said, "Fifty years from now I want them to say, 'He certainly looks good for his age.'"
(Culled from the Net)