Saturday, February 28, 2004
Maurice, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor for his physical examination. A few days later the doctor saw Maurice walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. The doctor said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Maurice replied, "Just doing what you said, doc: ‘get a hot mamma and be cheerful.’" The doctor said, "I did not say that. I said, "You got a heart murmur. Be careful."
Following an angry argument, a husband and wife went to bed not speaking to each other. Needing to arise early the following morning, the husband left a note on his wife's bedside table that said, "Wake me at six."
The exasperated husband awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table:
"It's six. Get out of bed!"
The judge read the charges, then asked, "Are you the defendant in this case?"
"No sir, your honour, sir," replied Jill, "I've got a lawyer to do the defending. I'm the person who has done it."
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
(Culled from the Net by Sunil Sharma)
This feature was published on February 14, 2004