THE bond between a mother and her child is the purest form of love. They share much more than the bloodline. Mothers have not just brought you to the world, but nurture you with the right set of values and morals — they are responsible for making you what you are.
From doctoring you when you are sick to playing your games, keeping awake with you while you study for your exams to being your friend, mothers are your guiding angels. As city residents celebrate Mother’s Day, we take notes from their personal diaries, examining the mother-child relationship, how the relationship passes through different phases, smooth when the child is small, rocky when in the teens, and slowly how mothers and their children (and not just daughters) become the best of friends when the child grows
older. Ronit Kapoor,16, says that his mother is the most important person in his life. “My whole life revolves around her, and I don’t care when my friends call me a mama’s boy. I don’t like being away from her for long. It’s not that we spend a lot of time together, but I have to know all the time that she is there for me,” he says.
His mother, Ms Gita Kapoor, says that when she conceived a second time after Ronit was born, she had wanted to have a daughter, because daughters are more affectionate than sons. “Gone are the days when the social role for boys demanded that they do not show signs of affection. My sons might not show many gestures to express their love, but in their own thoughtful ways, like helping me around the house, or simply pampering me, they show their concern for me. They discuss about their career plans and girlfriends with me, and I discuss most of my problems with them,” she says.
Indu Malhotra and her daughter, Jyotsana Malhotra, reveal how they have become more of friends than a parent and child over the past couple of years.”In school and later in college, your life revolves around your friends. It was only after I moved in with my parents that my bonding with my mother was re-built. Now, she is part of my friend circle and I am a part of her friend circle,” says Jyotsana, now a single mother herself.
Chips in her mother, Ms Indu Malhotra, “It’s not that we do not have our share of disagreements, but then who doesn’t? My daughter is as much our support system as we are hers. Being a working mother, I brought up my children very independently. Open communication, and giving space to each other, is what has worked best for us in having a healthy relationship”.
Jyotsana says “We are not a bedroom family, rather spend our time in the family den, which goes a long way in strengthening the family ties”. But is there one thing she wants to change in her relationship with her daughter vis-a vis her own relationship with her mother? “ I feel my mother reared us with love and the right set of values. Since she was a working mother, I missed her as a child, and have thus refrained from taking up work so that I am there for Pia.”
