Saturday, July 31, 2004
An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to the wife’s strict health rules. When they reached the pearly gates, St Peter took them to their mansion which had a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and jacuzzi.
The old man asked St Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," St Peter replied, "this is Heaven."
Next, they went to the greatest golf course unimaginable on earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
St Peter's said, "This is Heaven, you play for free."
Then they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with cuisines of the world laid out.
"How much does it cost to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it's free." St Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
St Peter lectured, "That's the best part. You can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven."
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, yelled at his wife: "It's all your fault. It's all your fault."
His wife said, "My fault? What are you talking about?"
He yelled, "If it weren't for your strict healthy diet and exercise instructions, I could have been here 10 years ago!"
Blonde in the library
A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, slams a book down and screams at the librarian: "This is the worst book I've ever read." "It has no plot and far too many characters!"
The librarian looks up and calmly remarks: "So, you're the one who took our phone book...."
— Compiled by Sunil Sharma
feature was published on July 24, 2004