Saturday, September 17, 2005
A woman said to her friend, "I donít know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you canít imagine. He doesnít put anything in its place. I am always going around the house organising things."
The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, ĎEvery glass and plate that you take, wash when you are done and put back in its placeí."
The first woman asked, "Did it help?"
Her friend said, "I donít know. I havenít seen him since."
Two peasants got into an argument over which is more important to the world: the sun or the moon. They put the problem to their village council. The elders deliberated over the question for many hours before they pronounced in favour of the moon in sound logic: "If there was no moon, we would not be able to see anything at night. The sun shines only during the day when we need no light."
Kiss and tell
A young lady to her friends: "You know I have never been kissed by any man except my husband."
One friend: "Are you boasting or complaining?"
Star showA new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that thereís something wrong with her password. "No, itís not the usual caps-lock problem. The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars," she says. "Those asterisks are to protect you," the Help Desk technician explains, "so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldnít be able to read your password."
"Yeah," she says, "but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me."
Tom was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of IQ.
He turned to his wife Linda, with a look of question on his face. "Iíll never understand why the biggest shmucks get the most attractive wives." His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear."
Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "Iím afraid Iím going to have to ask you to cut off my dogís tail."
The vet stepped back, "Bert, why should I do such a terrible thing?"
"Because my mother-in-lawís arriving tomorrow, and I donít want anything to make her think sheís welcome."
Compiled by Sunil Sharma