Know your onions
Jaspal Bhatti

Normally a sharabi taking drinks with bare onions is looked down upon. But today with the soaring prices of onions, people say ‘Look he is showing off his wealth by eating onions as snacks with his drinks’.

Recently, my family and I went to a South Indian joint. My wife ordered an onion dosa. The waiter asked, "Madam, do you want onion dosa with onion or without onions?" She wondered what did he mean by an onion dosa without onions. The waiter clarified that in this they provided only a photo of the onion with the dosa. If you wanted a real onion dosa, then you would have to pay triple the price.

Onion is such a commodity that it has the power to shake the government. The BJP has not forgotten till today the tears that onions had brought to its eyes. Now it is the turn of the Congress to face the brunt.

Those who are investing in property or shares are fools. The wise would invest in onions for significant gains. I’m sure soon like gold bonds or commodity bonds, onion bonds would be launched amidst great fanfare.

My wife asked for my suggestion regarding the gifts we should give to our relatives and friends this Divali. "Gifts of one kg of onions would be appropriate," I said. My wife thundered, "No, we don’t want to become bankrupt with your insane suggestion."