Saturday, December 17, 2005

Patient counsel

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A man stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?” He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry. I’m sure it will be all right’.” “She was just trying to comfort you. What’s so frightening about that?” “She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!”

Taken for a ride

A woman got on the bus with her little boy and paid one fare. The bus driver pointed out that she had to pay for her son. “Children under six ride free,” the woman said. “Come on,” the driver said. “He doesn’t look a day under nine.” The woman shrugged and said, “Can I help it if he worries a lot?”

Sales talk

After meeting with the boss, the head salesperson mustered the troops. “People,” he said, “I’ve just been informed that we’re going to be having a fire sale.” “A fire sale?” spoke up one agent. “But we sell insurance.” “I said a fire sale, and I meant it,” he replied rather coldly. “Anyone who doesn’t make a sale, gets fired....”

Off the mark

As a publicity campaign, an airline introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips.

Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip. Responses that poured in asked, “What trip?”

Pass the buck

Two blond hunters were dragging their dead deer back to the car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.

“Hey, it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.”

After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it. A little while later, one hunter said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier.”

“Yeah,” the other added, “but we’re getting farther away from the truck....”

Food for thought

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When the little kid received his plate, he started eating right away. “Wait until we say our prayer,” his mother reminded him. “I don’t have to,” the little boy replied. “Of course you do,” his mother insisted, “we say a prayer before eating in our house.” “That’s at our house,” the kid explained, “but this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma