WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Suitable gift

A gentleman, fresh out of gift ideas, bought his mother-in-law a large plot in an expensive cemetery. On her next birthday, he bought her nothing.

She was quick to comment, loud and long, on his thoughtlessness. The gentleman said only one thing, "Well, you haven’t used the gift I gave you last year."

Hard talk

Since I was the first to arrive at our high-tech company one morning, I answered the telephone. When the caller asked for field engineering, I explained that it was before normal business hours, but that I would help if I could. "What’s your job there?" the caller asked me.

"I’m the president," I replied. There was a pause. "I’ll call back later," he said, I need to talk to someone who knows something."

A believer

"Marriage converted me from an atheist to a believer." "That’s great. How? How’d that happen?" "I have started believing in hell!"

Rocky affair

Smith was seated comfortably in his living room one evening when a rock crashed through the window and landed at his feet, amid a shower of splintered glass. To the rock was attached a note: "Unless you pay us $10,000 according to instructions, we will kidnap your wife."

After some thought, Smith sat down at his desk and penned a reply: "Gentlemen, Your rock of this date has been received. I don’t have $10,000 at this time. However, keep in touch, as your proposition interests me..."

Fight to finish

One late night, a blonde was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. They began to wrestle and the blonde put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. He then went through blonde’s pockets and searched him. All the thief could find on him was 25 cents. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked him why he had bothered to fight so hard for just 25 cents.

"Was that all you wanted?" the blonde replied, "I thought you were after the $500 I’ve got in my shoe."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma