Saturday, April 21, 2007

Go by looks

Doctor: Mrs Smith, I have to tell you, I donít like the look of your husband.

Patientís wife: Neither do I, but heís good to the children.

Make peace

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything okay, pal," the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasnít talking to me for a month." Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says, "Well, maybe thatís kind of a good thing. You know, a little peace and quiet." "Yeah. But today is the last day."

Bossy talk

Two factory workers are talking. The man says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The woman replies, "And how would you do that?"

The man says, "Just wait and see." He then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The man replies, "Iím a light bulb." The boss then says, "Youíve been working so much that youíve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The woman starts to follow him and the boss says, "Where are you going?"

The woman says, "Iím going home, too. I canít work in the dark."

Thing of past

A four-year-old was showing a little friend the family photos that covered one wall in their basement. Out of sight but not out of earshot, her mother overheard her say, "Hereís a picture of my mommy when she was a little girl. I wasnít there, but`A0people say she used to be nice.

Stay natural

It was graduation day and the mom was trying to take a picture of her son in a cap and gown, posed with his father. "Letís try to make this look natural," she said. "Junior, put your arm around your dadís shoulder." The father answered, "If you want it to look natural, why not have him put his hand in my pocket?"

Leaky roof

Mr Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr Gable scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup."

ó Compiled by Sunil Sharma