WEBSIDE HUMOUR
IQ matters

A husband reading a newspaper says to his wife, “You know, honey, I think there might be some real merit in what this article says, that the intelligence of a father often proves a stumbling block to the son.”

“Well, thank heaven,” said the wife, “at least our James has nothing standing in his way.”

Smart move

When Bob found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles’ bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her beauty took his breath away. “I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said as he walked up to her, “but in just a week or two my father will die, and I’ll inherit 20 million dollars.” Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening. Three days later, she became his stepmother.

Trusted and tried

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, “I would like to speak with Mr Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours.”

The banker said, “Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him.”  

Party time

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

“Let’s have a party, Homer,” she suggested. “Let’s kill a pig.” The farmer scratched his grizzled head. “Gee, Ethel”, he finally answered, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened 50 years ago.”

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma