Voicing doubt

A cantor, the man who sings prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice:

"Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000."

There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room.

Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?"

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What’s with that guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."

The owner says, "You idiot. You can’t treat a cough with laxatives." The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!"

The minister was shaking everyone’s hand while they were leaving the church.

An elderly gentleman said, "Reverend that was the worst sermon I’ve ever listened to, it was terrible."

While the minister remained speechless, the gentleman’s wife wanting to be helpful said, "Reverend, please don’t listen to him, he only repeats what he hears other people saying."

One woman was talking to her friend, "You should listen tomy neighbour.

She is always bad-mouthing her poorhusband behind his back. I think that’s so rude. Look at me.My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heardme say a bad word about him?"

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma