ulta pulta

Prizeless awards
Jaspal Bhatti

I am thankful to politicians, policemen, bureaucrats, technocrats, judges, and all others for inspiring me to write topsy-turvy things. Now it is time to announce the "Ulta Pulta" Awards for 2007. The awards in the various categories are: Heart-breaking Award for 2007 goes to Abhishek Bachhan for marrying Aishwarya Rai. He has broken the hearts of millions who had an eye on Ash.

Stumbling Block Award can be shared by Prakash Karat, CPM General Secretary and his counterpart A.B. Bardhan of CPI for their contribution towards hindering the Indo-US nuclear deal. Promise-breaking Award for the year goes to Deve Gowda for his great memory failure regarding the power-sharing agreement with the BJP in Karnataka.

Dadagiri Award had a stiff competition but with due apology to all other Chief Ministers, this award goes to Buddhadeb Bhattcharjee for his handling of the Nandigram affairs.

Award of Heights undoubtedly goes to the Sensex for making an unprecedented gain in 2007. Maya-Jaal award goes to Mayawati for casting an unexpected spell on the voters of UP in the assembly elections.

Twenty-20 Award for Team India’s Victory should be given to the BCCI for their indecisiveness in appointing a suitable coach. Had they appointed a foreign coach this victory would never have been possible!

News-breaking Award can be shared by all Indian news channels for breaking insignificant news with the hammer of sting operations.