new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family waiting for the news, “We had twins.”
The family was so excited, they immediately asked, “Who do they look like?”
The father paused, smiled and said, “Each other”.
A couple is discussing why their marriage is in a rut. They decide that like many married people, it’s because they never go out and have fun anymore.
“Let’s go out and have a good time tonight,” the wife says finally.
“Okay,” the husband replies. “But if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.”Long jump
A man and woman are fooling around when they hear a key in the door. The woman breaks away and yells, “It’s my husband. Quick, jump out the window.”
“I can’t,” the man tells her. “We’re on the thirteenth floor.”
“For heaven’s sake,” cries the woman. “This is no time to be superstitious.”Calling names
A hostess is making final arrangements for an elaborate reception. “Nora,” she said to her veteran servant, “for the first half-hour I want you to stand at the drawing room door and call the guests’ names as they arrive.”
Nora’s face lit up. “Thank you, ma’am,” she replied.
“I’ve been wanting to do that to some of your friends for the last 20 years.”Patient query
A doctor in a clinic was interviewing a new patient. “If I find an operation necessary,” he asked, “would you have the money to pay for it?”
“Listen, doc,” replied the man, “if I didn’t have the money, would you find the operation necessary?”
Compiled by Sunil Sharma