Saturday, May 17, 2008

Honest confession

A schoolteacherís son brought his report card home. The father said; "letís see what have you accomplished". He opens the report and to his dismay sees all bad grades. "What do you have to say about this Johnny?" "Well dad, at least you know Iím not cheating."

Good contacts

This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the manís driving licence, he said, "Youíre wearing glasses on your ID and youíre not now. Iíll have to give you a ticket." The guy said, "Officer, I have contacts."

The cop said, "Look, buddy, I donít care who you know,... Iím giving you a ticket."

Strong backup

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your wife?"

He answered, "Call for backup."

Clear coast

A manís business trip gets cancelled and he is at home with a rather nervous wife. They go to bed. About midnight, the phone rings.

The man rolls over and answered...

"Hello? What? How the hell should I know, I live in Phoenix".

He hangs up and his wife asks, "Who was it dear?"

"Some idiot who wanted to know if the coast was clear."

Long marriage

In a party, a man who had been married for 66 years was asked about the secret of such a long, happy married life. "Well," he replied, "In our home, the man makes all the big decisions and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" he was asked. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma