ulta pulta

Jarring note
Jaspal Bhatti

A Japanese man called a food company's toll free number 500 times. Not because he wanted to seek some information or lodge a complaint but just to hear the sweet recorded voice on the automatic tape. He was arrested because his calls to the company's cost them $ 38,730 as it was a toll free number.

I don't blame the poor chap as he might have fallen in love with the recorded voice.

Here in India sometimes the recorded voice is so gruff "Yeh number badal gaya hai" that the caller will immediately hang up as if the voice was going to snap at him and say, "How dare you call this number?"

I asked a BSNL officer why didn't they hire a professional female voice lender and use her voice. "We want people to have a feel of the natural environment of our office. Our consumers should feel as if they are visiting our office in person to complain." I was convinced that every government department should add a dash of rudeness to match the disposition of their department.

The police's recording machine should play messages like. " Yeh police department hai, aadhi raat ko kiski maa mar gayi"?

Some simple people, who are not accustomed to recorded messages, start talking to the taped messages. "Sat Sri Akal ji" How are the children? What has happened to your voice aunty ji"? It is only sometimes later they realise that something is wrong. "Ehne koi galat cheez kha layi hai. Bar bar eko gal kari jandi hai." (She has eaten something wrong. She is repeating the same thing again and again.)