ulta pulta

Suspect skills
Jaspal Bhatti

WHEN a child goes out his parents tell him, ‘Beta kisi bheed bhaad mein mat jana’ (Son, don’t go in to a crowd). Though there is hardly any place left, which is not crowded except the theatres where Ram Gopal Verma’s films are running. Considering the recent blasts and detection of bombs at many places the parents have reason to be worried. India needs more bomb experts. But by bomb experts I don’t mean those who could make bombs, rather those who could detect and diffuse bombs and tell what kind of explosives these are.

Recently I have detected some talent in Sushma Swaraj as a bomb expert. She has commented that the blasts in Bangalore and Ahmedabad have been a conspiracy to divert attention from the ‘cash-for-votes’ scandal. We should rather be happy that our nation has found a great expert, who can tell by a mere look at the bomb that what kind of device it is — whether it can create a wedge between the communities or divert attention from a major political issue. Imagine if an unexploded bomb is unearthed and the bomb squad approaches Sushmaji for her expert comments. She smells the bomb and says, "It is nothing but a UPA inflation-diverter explosive to divert people’s mind from the issue of rising prices."

Once Santa was planting a bomb on a bicycle. Banta asked what he would do if this bomb exploded in his hand. "Don’t worry; I have another in my pocket," replied Santa with overconfidence. When somebody asked Sushma Swaraj what could be the motive of Santa and Banta she said, "Creating blasts of humour."