WEBSIDE HUMOUR
Perfect shot

A little boy knocks at the door and tells the owner that something of his had found its way into her garage, and he wanted it back. The homeowner opened the garage and noticed two additions; a baseball and broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.

"How do you suppose this ball got in here?" she asked the child. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at the homeowner, the little boy exclaimed, "Wow lady! I must have thrown it right through that hole."

A stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.

"Don’t worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I’m in here for a white-collar crime too."

"Well, that’s a relief,’" sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading."

"Oh, nothing fancy like that for me," qualified the convict. "I just killed a couple of priests."

"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend."

"I know, but I don’t hold any grudges." "I’m surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her." "Well, I had to swear to him she’s Jennifer Lopez’s double."

"Wow! Is that true?"

"I wouldn’t lie. She’s twice her weight and twice her age."

"I’m getting a divorce," said Jack to his mate, Bill. "My wife hasn’t spoken with me for six months."

Bill thought for a moment and then replied, "Just make sure you know what you’re doing, Jack. Wives like that are hard to find."

What is the difference between a mother and a wife?

One woman brings you into the world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so.