Saturday, May 9, 2009

Thinking twice

"Iíll bet you have to think twice before you leave your wife alone at night," said one man to the other.

"Yeah, you are right," replied the second. "First, I have to think up a reason for going out. Second, I have to think up why she canít go with me."

Smart parking

At a traffic court, the judge asked the motorist: "Tell me, why did you park your car here?

The man said: "Well, there was a sign that said "fine for parking."

Automated society

One man to his friend, "What an automated society we live in. Have you ever noticed that when a traffic light turns green, it automatically activates the horn of the car behind you?"

Easy cough

Nurse: "Good morning Mr. Smith, you seem to be coughing much more easily this morning".

Mr Smith: "Thatís because Iíve been practicing all night".

Great marriage

A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counselling came up. "Oh! Weíll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained.

"He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theatre arts. He communicates really well, and I just act like Iím listening."

Driving force

After gunning his BMW the wrong way down a one-way street, the rather intoxicated young man was asked where he thought he was going by a curious police officer.

"Iím not really sure," confessed the drunk, "but wherever it is, I must be late, because everybody seems to be coming back already."

Piano lessons

The teacher asks: "Now, Susan, how may fingers have you"?

Susan: "Ten.

Teacher: "Right. Now if you lost four of them, what would you have"?

Susan: "No more piano lessons".

Compiled by Sunil Sharma