Saturday, July 11, 2009

Playing hockey

Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened.

Andy replied, “Oh, nothing. It’s just an old hockey injury that acts up once in a while.”

Josh, “Gee, I never knew you played hockey.”

Andy, “No I don’t. I hurt it last year when I lost $1,000 on the Stanley Cup play-offs. I put my foot through the television.”

First day

Johnny was due to start school. His mother energetically pumped up his enthusiasm, buying him new clothes, telling him about the new friends he’d meet, and so on. Came the first day, he eagerly set off and came back home with glowing reports about school.

Next morning she woke him up and told him it was time to get ready for school.

“What?” said Johnny. “Again?”

Small circle

During a training session at an artillery unit the sergeant-major was busy describing how the sophisticated aiming device of the artillery weapon system is used:

“As you all know, there are 180º in a circle.”

One of the soldiers put up his hand and said, “But there are 360º in a circle, sergeant-major.”

“You idiot,” replied the sergeant-major, “I am obviously speaking about a small circle.”

Change of mind

Mrs Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, “Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy? “How do you mean, change her min?” asked Mrs. Sullivan. “Well said the child, “she went into the church with one man and came out with another!”

Compiled by Sunil Sharma