Good Motoring
Hell of an experience
H. Kishie Singh

IT is the dirtiest face of the City Beautiful, both literally and metaphorically. Literally, because table-tops have marks left by tea mugs that are several days’ old. The sad-looking printer sitting in the corner on the floor hasn’t been dusted for weeks. The glass partition at the counters hasn’t been cleaned for months. The toilets have white marble floors that are black with filth. They have not been scrubbed or washed since the day they were laid.

Metaphorically, the dirt takes you into the pits. Entering a visually filthy office is demoralising, distressing and disgusting. Add to this the attitude of the staff — indifferent, rude and arrogant. Besides, the staff members are irregular in attendance. Why not? They make the rules. Some of them aimed at making the public jump through hoops of fire.

This is the Registration and Licensing Authority (RLA) of the UT, Chandigarh. Every few years, Chandigarhians are obliged to go there, be it to renew a driving licence, or registering a car, new or used. It is a demeaning experience.

The obstacle race starts the minute you buy the Red Cross file folder. The cover reads "Registration of other state vehicle to be assigned new mark." New mark? Registration number or number plate are words we know. RC stands for registration certificate. But mark. This word does not exist in the Motor Vehicles Act. Babu creativity.

In any office, for it to function efficiently, there has to be a flow chart. Half a year ago there was some semblance of this in the RLA. All the "windows" and officials were on one floor. For some reason this has been changed. After having the file processed on the upper floor, take it to the supervisor on the ground floor, then back upstairs. It may be necessary to repeat this yo-yo procedure a number of times. Why? There should be a logical flow of work, both to facilitate the public plus expedite work. That is exactly what the RLA does not want.

Another hurdle for a car coming from another state. A no objection certificate is required. It states that the car is not stolen. After receiving this NOC, there is a 45-day "cooling off period". The RLA will act on it after 45 days. Why? On receipt of this "other state" NOC.

One must apply to the SSP, UT, to get an NOC. Why? This is duplication of work. The NOC from the SSP, UT reads: "The above mentioned vehicle is not wanted in a theft case." This certificate is valid for 30 days. But nowhere is this expiry date mentioned on the certificate. So you go to the RLA office after 45 days, only to find that the validity of the SSP’s NOC has expired. Back to the SSP’s office, you apply for another certificate. It takes 10 days to get this NOC. Why not 10 minutes? It is a computer-generated document. Every time you apply for this NOC, you pay a Rs 20 fee.

Finally, you have the "other state" NOC plus one from Chandigarh Police. Back to the RLA. Guess what? The registration number of the vehicle was wrong. In spite of the incorrect registration number, an NOC had been issued. So much for a computerised data bank. Rejected by the RLA, you head back to the SSP’s office. Repeat the whole exercise. Stand in line, pay Rs 20, wait for 10 days. Grow old patiently.

The persons you deal with have computers on their desks. Either they do not know how to use them, or they do not want to. How can you explain that a new car takes 10-12 days to register? The vehicle has come off the assembly line of the manufacturer to the dealer. All documents are in order. No NOC is required. Manufacturers like Maruti, BMW and Ford — to mention only a few — are highly efficient and computerised. In spite of this, the vehicle has to be passed by the RLA. They know more than the manufacturers. All that is required for registration is the owner’s proof of residence, signatures and a photograph. It should be a 10-minute job. But it takes that many days.

As you walk out of the RLA after your tenth visit, dejected and feeling low, clutching on to your file with three objections, the parking lot attendant takes pity on you, and comes to your rescue. "Sahib ji, no luck? Don’t worry. Get a guide to help you." The word tout is no longer in vogue. The guide checks the file, mumbles a price, takes the file back. He comes out 15 minutes later with a slip of paper.

"Collect your RC tomorrow," he says smilingly. Gratefully, you tip the guide.

The next day you collect the RC, and guess what? The registration number is written wrong.

Happy motoring.