Webside Humour
Amazing alliance

AN elementary school teacher was visiting the zoo on her day off when she walked past the lions’ cage and was amazed by what she saw. The king of the jungle was sleeping peacefully alongside several lambs. Recognising the possibilities of teaching the true meaning of coexistence to her students, she sought out the zoo director. "How did you ever manage to accomplish such an extraordinary alliance?" she asked.

"It’s actually quite simple madam" the director replied. "We just add a few fresh lambs every now and then."

Great job

The homeowner was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house. "You did a great job," he said and handed the man a check. "Also, in order to thank-you, here’s an extra $80 to take the missus out to dinner and a movie."

Later that night, the doorbell rang and it was the painter. Thinking the man had forgotten something he asked, "What’s the matter, did you forget something?"

"Nope." replied the painter. "I’m just here to take your missus out to dinner and a movie like you asked."

Learning that several of his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during lunch hours, a wise company president issued the following memo:

To All Employees: If you must drink during lunch, please drink whiskey. It is much better for our customers to know you’re drunk than to think you’re stupid.

A girl was trying out for a job in a chorus. "Mother says that I sing beautifully."

The director replied, "Bring me a recommendation from the neighbours and I’ll give you an audition."

On her 41st birthday, a woman received, among other presents, an extravagantly expensive wrinkle-removing cream from her teenage daughter.

"And what did she give you last year?" a guest asked the mom.

Her reply without hesitation was: "The wrinkles!"

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma