Webside HUMOUR
A matter of choice

OUR man was walking down a dark alley when suddenly a mugger jumped at him. "Your money or your life," the mugger barked.

"You mean I have a choice?" said our man. "Here take this..."

He pulled out his wallet and gave it to the mugger.

"And this...usually this is secret money".

He removed his cap and flipped it around and there! Some more money!

"Wait! Here is my card. Feel free to contact me whenever you have a cash crunch!" The mugger left confused and dazed.

"Such a nice fellow!" sobbed our man. "He gave me a choice. At home, I have no choice, my wife takes them both."

Home improvement

Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, "I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband."

"Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces," the manager says. "We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement."

Kathy interrupts: "Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category of ‘Home Improvement.’"

The census taker knocked on Miss Gibson’s door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age.

"But everybody tells their age to the census taker," the man said.

"Did Miss Mary Hill and Miss Patty Hill tell you their ages?"

"Certainly." Well, I’m the same age as they are," she snapped.

"As old as the Hills," the man wrote on his form.

A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial.

"Jury trial," the defendant replied.

"Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge.

"Sure," replied the defendant. "That’s where 12 ignorant people decide my fate instead of one."

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma