Webside HUMOUR
Big deal

A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it...’

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’ The next day someone stole it!

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a martini to the amazement of the bartender. When the bartender gives the gorilla the martini, he is further surprised to see that the ape is holding a $20 bill. The bartender takes the $20, then he decides to see just how smart the gorilla is, so he hands the gorilla on $1 change. The gorilla quietly sips the martini until the bartender breaks the silence.

"We don’t get too many apes in here", he says.

"The gorilla replies, At $19 a drink, I’m not surprised".

A friend asked a gentleman how it is that he never married. Replied the gentleman, "Well, I guess I just never met the right woman... I guess I’ve been looking for the perfect girl."

"Oh, come on now," said the friend, "Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry."

"Yes, there was one girl...once. I guess she was the one perfect girl...the only perfect girl I really ever met. She was just the right everything...I really mean that she was the perfect girl for me."

"Well, why didn’t you marry her," asked the friend. "She was looking for the perfect man," he said.

A priest and pastor from the local parishes are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!"

They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car.

"Leave us alone you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by.

From around the curve, they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

"Do you think," said one clergy to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says ‘Bridge Out’ instead?"

— Compiled by Sunil Sharma