A young man, looking to get married, asked his friend. "Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesnít like."
"Oh, thatís easy," his pal replied. "All you have to do is find someone who is just like your mother."
"I did that already," he said, "and that one my father didnít like."
The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases leaving the plant, and approached his new packer.
He put his arm around the manís shoulder and said, "Well, Ole, I see you did what I asked. Stamped the top of each box, ĎThis Side Up, Handle With Care.í"
"Yes sir," the worker replied. "And just to make sure, I stamped it on the bottom too."
"Doctor, you told me I have a month to live and then you sent me a bill for $1,000! I canít pay that before the end of the month!"
"Okay, you have six months to live."
Home sweet home
A group of American tourists were being guided through an ancient castle in Europe. "This place," the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years."
"Wow," said one woman dryly, "they must have the same landlord I do."
During the final exam, the professor noticed that one student kept looking at his hand before writing down an answer on his test. This went on throughout the entire exam, leaving the professor with no other choice than to check on the studentís test-taking habit.
"Is there something interesting written on your palm?"
"Not at all, Professor. Itís all pretty boring."
A group of junior-level executives were participating in`A0a management training program. The seminar leader pounded home his point about the need to make decisions and take action on these decisions.
"For instance," he said, "if you had five frogs on a log`A0and three of them decided to jump, how many frogs would you have left on the log?"
The answers from the group were unanimous: "Two."
"Wrong," replied the speaker, "there would still be five`A0because there is a difference between deciding to jump and jumping."
ó Compiled by Sunil Sharma