Webside HUMOUR
Direct object

In a grammar lesson in the eighth grade, Mrs O’Neill said, "Paul, give me a sentence with a direct object."

Paul replied. "Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school."

"Thank you, Paul," responded Mrs. O’Neill, "but what is the object?"

"To get the best marks possible," replied Paul

A family on a fishing excursion was not having any luck that day. After drifting for hours without so much as a nibble, suddenly the old mom’s fishing rod had some movement. Everyone on the boat was excited, cheering the old woman and telling her to take her time. Finally she lifted the fish into the boat, picked it up, removed the hook, looked at it up and down, and then tossed it back into the water. Everybody was stunned. Her son said, "Mom, why did you throw that fish back into the water?"

"I don’t know. To me, it just didn’t look fresh."

A wholesale dealer, who had a lot of trouble in getting a certain retailer to pay his bills, finally lost patience and wrote the merchant a threatening letter. He received the following reply: "Dear Sir: What do you mean by writing me a letter like that? Every month I place all my bills in a hat and then figure out how much money I have to pay on my accounts. Then I have my bookkeeper draw as many bills out of the hat as I have money to pay. If you don't like my way of doing business, I won't even put your bills in the hat."

While shopping at men’s clothing store, a customer asked the salesman to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out.

"Ma’am," the salesman explained, "any tie will make your husband’s blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma