Webside HUMOUR
Polite way

Six friends were playing poker when Smith loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect, the other five complete their playing time standing up. Roberts looks around and asks, "Now, who is going to tell the wife?" They draw straws.

John, who is always a loser, picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don’t make a bad situation any worse than it is. "Gentlemen! I’m the most discreet man you will ever meet" saying he walks over to the Smith house, knocks on the door, the wife answers, and asks what he wants. John says, "Your husband just lost $500 playing cards."

She hollers, "TELL HIM TO DROP DEAD!"

John says, "OK. I’ll tell him."

What’s this five dollars daily charge for ‘fruit’? The hotel guess asked the manager. "We didn’t eat any."

"But the fruit was placed in your room everyday. It isn’t our fault you didn’t take advantage of it." "I see," said the man as he subtracted $150.00 from the bill.

"What are you doing"? sputtered the manager.

"I’m subtracting 50 dollars a day for kissing my wife."

"What? I didn’t kiss your wife."

"Ah," replied the man, "but she was there."

A teacher sees a lad entering the classroom — his hands were dirty.

She stopped him and said, "John, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?"

Smiling, the boy replied, "I think I’d be too polite to mention it."

"Doctor, you’ve got to help me. I just can’t stop my hands from shaking!"

"Do you drink a lot of coffee?"

"Not really — I spill most of it!"

Compiled by Sunil Sharma