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THIS ABOVE ALL
A unique museum
Khushwant Singh
 Iceland’s
Phallological Museum in the fishing village of Husavik was set
up in 1997. To date, it has 276 penises taken from 46 animal
species, including 55 specimens from whales, one of which is 67
inches long. There are also 36 penises from seals and 118 from
land mammals. The only thing missing was a human penis.
Recently, the curator of the museum, Sigurdur Hjartarson, made
an announcement that at long last they have acquired a human
penis and "that our collection is finally complete."
He also informed the media how the human penis was acquired.
 "When the
museum opened, Pall Arason offered to donate his penis. He liked
to be provocative; he was a boaster, and because he was over 80,
I figured we wouldn’t have to wait long. But I had to wait for
almost 15 years. He lived to be 95 and died last January,"
said Hjartarson. They got a doctor to cut it off from the body.
The curator asserted: "Why should it be any more remarkable
to donate a penis than to donate a kidney?" We Indians have
a hallowed attitude towards the lingam as an emblem of
creativity. We have stone replicas in many temples and worship
these as we worship other gods.
Where did I get
to know about Iceland’s phallic museum? I picked it up from
the recent issue of Private Eye, which quotes Iceland
Review of Spring 2011.
Sahib log
legacy
Jyotika Sikand
was with the Israeli Embassy in Delhi when she converted to
Judaism. I met her a couple of times when my son happened to be
in Delhi. For reasons known to her, she has gifted me seven rare
books not available in bookstores. The books were worth their
weight in gold. One of them is a selection of poems published in
a Mumbai magazine called The Onlooker. The poems are
penned by men serving in the Army, the Navy and the Air Force
and their wives. It is not great poetry, yet highly readable. I
quote one on the monsoon composed by someone named Slib:
The monsoon
comes, bright gleans and leaves;
The rain is
dripping through the trees;
And every bird
and tree, and flower;
Thank God for
each life-giving shower;
The monsoon
comes, all nature wakes;
The parched
earth, its fierce thirst slakes;
And starving
cattle graze their fill;
Of sweet, green
grass over plain and hill;
The monsoon
comes and mosquitoes hum;
They gorge your
blood, in swarms they come;
Cockroaches
scamper the spree;
And moths let
up your pedigree.
Mrs Dragon
A beggar
knocked on the door of a hotel in a Himalayan kingdom called
Lama & Dragon. A woman opened the door. "Could I have a
bite to eat?" he said.
"No,"
screamed the woman, and slammed the door
The beggar
knocked again and the woman opened the door with a sour face. He
said very politely: "I guess you are Mrs Dragon. Now could
I have a few words with Mr Lama?"
Just punishment
A man was
applying for a job as a prison guard. The jailor said: "Now
these are real tough guys in here. Do you think you can handle
them?" "No problem," the applicant replied.
"If they don’t behave, out they go!"
(Courtesy: Reeten
Ganguly, Tezpur)
What difference
Santa: Bhaji,
is there any difference between complete and finished?
Banta: Yes,
when you marry the right one, you are complete. When you marry
the wrong one, you are finished. When the right one catches you
with the wrong one, you are completely finished.
(Contributed by JP Singh Kaka,
Bhopal)
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