Webside HUMOUR
Booze trap

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. "What time do you open up in the morning?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.

The owner was so furious that he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A few minutes later there was another call and he heard the same voice ask the same question.

"Listen, the owner shouted, "there’s no sense in asking me what time I open because I wouldn’t let a person in your condition in."

"I don’t want to get in," the caller interjected. "I want to get out."

A man moved to a mountain top to get rid of the hustle and be alone. One day, he heard a knock at the door and no one was there but then he looked down and there sat a snail and it said, "it is quite cold out here. Can I come in?" the man shouted "NO. Why don’t you all understand I want to be alone!" and he kicked the snail down the mountain.

One year later, there was a knock at the door and no one was there and then he looked down and there again sat a snail and it said, "What did you do that for?"

A doctor received an emergency call from a patient. She had a fly in her ear. He suggested an old home remedy. "Pour warm olive oil into your ear and lie down for a few minutes," he said. "When you lift your head, the fly should emerge with the liquid."

The patient thought that sounded like a good idea, but she still asked, "Into which ear should I pour the oil?"

Billy said to Tommy, "My daddy’s an accountant. What does your daddy do for a living?"

Tommy replied, "My daddy’s a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.

Compiled by Sunil Sharma