After spending four hours enduring the long lines, surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of Motor Vehicles, a man stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for his son. He brought a baseball bat and goes to pay at the cash counter.
“Cash or charge?” the clerk asked.
“Cash,” he snapped. Then apologising for his rudeness, he explained,
“I’ve spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau.”
“Shall I gift wrap the bat?” the clerk asked sweetly. “Or are you going back there?”
A college student challenged a senior citizen saying it was impossible for their generation to understand his. “You grew up in a different world,” the student said. “Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, nuclear energy, computers…”
Taking advantage of a pause in the student’s litany, the geezer said, “You’re right. We didn’t have those things when we were young; so we invented them! What are you doing for the next generation??”
A Sunday school teacher asked the children in her class, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into Heaven?”
“No!” the children all answered.
“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?”
Again the answer was “No!”
“Well”, she continued, “then how can I get into heaven?”
A five-year-old boy shouted out, “You gotta be dead!”
A man placed an ad in the classifieds, “Wife wanted.”
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same, “You can have mine.”
— Compiled by Sunil