Webside HUMOUR

Mixed-up orders

Cousin Elly is pretty adept at getting instructions mixed up.`A0 When she got married, her husband bought her one of those fancy, electric coffee makers.`A0It had all the latest features on it. Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, one can even go to bed, and then upon rising, the coffee is ready."

A few weeks later Elly was back in the store, and Riley asked her how she liked the coffee maker.

"Wonderful!" she replied, "However, thereís one thing I donít understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee?"

Beary good

A husband and wife are shopping at their local Wal Mart. The husband picked up a case of beer and put it in their shopping cart.

"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.

"Theyíre on sale, only $10 for 24 cans," he replies.

"Put them back, we canít afford them," demands the wife. He put back the case silently and they carry on shopping. A few aisles further the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and put it in the shopping cart. "What do you think youíre doing?" asks the husband. "Itís my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife.

Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and itís half the price!"

Hard working blondes

Two blondes had a mule that was very hard working. The only problem was every time they went to put the mule back in his stall, his ears would
brush the top of the entrance and then the old mule would go nuts and kick everything.`A0 One day, the blondes decided to cut a opening in the top of the stall, to prevent this from happening. While they were working, a neighbour stopped by and asked what they were doing, so they explained the problem.

The neighbour suggested that they could save a lot of work and time if they simply took a shovel and dug the entrance down a little bit. The blondes thanked their neighbour and he drove off.

Suddenly the one blonde said to the other, "Some stupid neighbour we have! Itís not his feet that are too long. Itís his ears!

Compiled by Sunil Sharma