Webside HUMOUR

Shopperís stop

A wife says to her engineer husband, "Could you please go to the store for me and buy a carton of milk. And if they have eggs, get six."

A short time later the husband comes back with six cartons of milk. The wife asks, "Why the heck did you buy six cartons of milk?"

"They had eggs."

Wedding bells

George Johnson, a hard-bitten man of early middle age, had evaded many a marital trap, but was now hopelessly in love with pretty young Nancy. Finally he said, "Will you marry me, Nancy?"

She smiled and said, "Oh yes, George."

There followed a long silence, till Nancy said, "Well, say something more, George."

And Johnson said hollowly, "I think Iíve said too much as it is."

Say cheers!

At 3 a.m., a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon," answers the clerk.

About an hour later, he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. "What time does the bar open?" he asks.

"Same time as before...noon," replies the clerk.

Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered, "Whatjoo shay the bar opins at?"

The clerk, then, answers, "It opens at noon, but if you canít wait, I can have room service send something up to you."

"No... I donít wanna git in... Ah wanna git OUT!!!"

Express checkout

A woman rushed into the supermarket to pick up a few items. She headed for the express line where the clerk was talking on the phone with his back turned to her.

"Excuse me," she said, "Iím in a hurry. Could you check me out, please?"

The clerk turned, stared at her for a second, looked her up and down, smiled and said, "Not bad."

Compiled by Sunil Sharma