THIS ABOVE ALL
When the world is one
Khushwant Singh

Khushwant SinghIt will not be long before the produce of every country will be available in every other country of the world. If people with the required travel documents (passports and visas) can go to countries they are entitled to, there is little justification for not allowing products of one country being allowed to be sold in markets of other countries. It only needs amending laws that prevent them from being so. This came home to me as I ran out of my stock of German digestive liquor Underberg to which I am addicted after my evening meal. Why should I have to depend on friends visiting Germany to get more to replenish my stock? Why canít I go across the road to Khan Market and ask the wine merchant to sell me a few packets of Underberg to be better able to digest my dinner?

Unforgettable dialogue

With supermarkets being set up everywhere, it will be a matter of time before the products of every country are available globally
With supermarkets being set up everywhere, it will be a matter of time before the products of every country are available globally 

I happened to be in Hong Kong in 1962 when the Chinese gave a drubbing to our Army. At the time many Chinese jewellers employed retired Sikh policemen to guard their shops. All they had to do was to be seated close to the entrance holding a musket in their hands. The Chinese were dead scared of their presence. As I was passing one such jewellerís shop, the guard looked up at me and noticed the camera slung on my shoulder. He concluded I have come from India. We exchanged greetings "Sat Sri Akal". He asked me "Deson aiye ho?" (Have you come from our country?). I replied: "Jee deyson aaya haan." ("Yes, I have come from our country"). He shook his head and said: "Nakk wadh ditta." ("You have cut off our noses"). "When we were in the police. We used to grab six of them at a time by their pigtails and take them to the thana. Now my Chinese woman taunts me: "Badian phookan mardey see." ("You boasted a great deal"). "Nirey kukkar khan jogey ho" ("All you are good for is to eat chickens").

PM versus banker

Prime Minister Manmohan Singh walks into State Bank of India to cash a cheque. As he approaches, the cashier he says: "Good morning, maíam, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

Cashier: "It would be my pleasure, sir. Could you please show me your ID?"

MS (utterly shocked): "I did not bring my ID with me as I didnít think there was any need. I am Manmohan Singh, the Prime Minister of India!"

Cashier: "Yes, Sir, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of imposters and forgers etc., I must insist on seeing your ID".

MS: "Just ask anyone here at the bank who I am and they will tell you. Everybody known whom I am!"

Cashier: "I am sorry Mr Prime Minister, but these are the bank rules and I must follow them strictly".

MS: "I am urging you, please, to cash this cheque. Soniaji has gone to America and Rahulji has, by mistake, taken the keys of the safe with him. I need some extra money urgently".

Cashier: "Look Mr Prime Minister, this is what we can do. Some months back, Baba Ramdev came into the bank without an ID. To prove he was Ramdev, he pulled his tummy in so much that it went and touched his back. With that feat, we knew him to be Baba Ramdev and cashed his cheque. On another occasion, Yuvraj Singh came in without his ID. To prove his identity, he just went out and hit six consecutive sixers.

With that we knew for certain that he was indeed Yuvi himself, and we cashed his cheque. So, Mr Prime Minister, what can you do to prove that it is you, and only you, as the Prime Minister of India?"

Manmohan Singh stood there thinking, thinking and thinking, and finally said: "Honestly, my mind is totally blank ó there is nothing that comes to my mind`85 I canít think of a single thing!"

Cashier: "There you are! That is enough. In what denominations would you like the cash, Mr Prime Minister?"

(Contributed by Vipin Buckshey, Delhi)

ATM booth

An ATM booth beside a cemetery has a sign: "You canít take it with you but at least you can sleep next to it".

(Courtesy: Reeten Ganguly, Tezpur)

 





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