Webside HUMOUR
Helpless creature

A mother and a daughter are shopping in the mall, when the mother eyes an expensive fur coat. "This year," she says, "I think that I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me. And I think this fur coat will be perfect too."

The daughter protests, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature has to suffer so that you can have this."

"Don't worry honey," says the mother, "your father won't get the bill for a couple of weeks."

A woman was not feeling well...so she visited her doctor. The good doctor, after giving her a thorough examination, said grimly, "Mrs. Goode, I am sorry to have to say this, but if you want to get well again you would have

to lose a foot."

"What!?! You mean my foot has to be amputated?"

"Oh, no, no..." replied the good doctor, "I mean you have to lose a foot from around your waistline!"

A politician, who was very small-sized, was often derided by an opponent, a tall, well-built man. One day, the opponent walked up to him, looked down sneeringly and said loudly, "You know, I could just swallow you up!"

"In that event," said the little fellow, looking up, "you would have more brains in your stomach than you'll ever have in your head!"

A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"

"Yes, it is," pat comes the reply.

"Thank Goodness! Can you call 911 for me? I super glued my finger

to the phone."

"Doctor, doctor, my wooden leg is giving me a lot of pain."

"Why's that"?

"My wife keeps hitting me over the head with it"

Compiled by Sunil Sharma