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Perfect hearing

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to a doctor and the doctor fitted him with a hearing aid that allowed him to hear 100 per cent. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor who said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The gentleman replied, "Oh, I havenít told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversation. Iíve changed my will three times!"

Wedding loan

Santa bought a new car on loan. He didnít pay the dues. The bank took away his car.

Santa: "If I knew this, Iíd have taken a loan for my marriage also".

Problem father

"You looked troubled," a man told his friend, "whatís your problem?"

He replied: "Iím going to be a father."

"But thatís wonderful," "Whatís problem in it?"

"The problem is my wife doesnít know about it yet."

No grudges

"That was nice of you to set up a blind date for your ex-boyfriend."

"I know, but I donít hold any grudges."

"Iím surprised he trusted you enough to agree to go out with her."

"Well, I had to swear to him sheís Jennifer Lopezís double."

"Wow! Is that true?"

"I wouldnít lie. Sheís twice her weight and twice her age."

Friendly advice

A woman was complaining to the neighbour that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbour, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three oíclock in the morning, and from my bed I call out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.

"Cured him!" asked the woman, "but how". The neighbour said, "You see, his name is Bill."

Thinking man

When a married man says: "Iíll think about it", what he really means that, "He doesnít know his wifeís opinion yet".

                                                                                                                                     Compiled by Sunil Sharma





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