ULTA PULTA
Blow your own trumpet

We are the biggest democracy in the world. And this freedom is manifested more easily in Indians on roads; with each one blowing the horns to one’s heart’s content. We blow the horn to give vent to all our emotions ranging from joy, resentment, frustration and gay abandon to impatience.

This is most evident at a red-light crossing when horns suddenly come to life. Before the light is amber you’re treated to a cacophony of noises. And as your blood pressure shoots up to alarming levels, you wonder what you can do to curb it? Some simple suggestions — a homeopathic dose, cotton buds in your ears, some meditation exercises or even soundproofing your car. My best bet would be to get a power horn attached to the rear of your car so that when the guy at the back honks, you rip him apart with your stereophonic response.

I think most people keep blowing the horn just to check if they’re not getting deaf.

One day, a man’s car stopped in the traffic chaos. He kept turning the ignition but the car just wouldn’t start. To add to his woes, the motorist at the rear kept honking like a maniac. Exasperated, the man got out of his car, walked up to the motorist and said, "Sir, will you please try starting my car while I press my hand on your car’s horn!"

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