A woman was fed-up of her husbandís drinking habit. One day, she decided to dress up like a devil and frighten her husband. When the husband came home, she jumped from behind the couch dressed as a devil and made horrible noises.
For a moment, he thought it was the real devil. But then, he simply saw her with drunken eyes and said, "You donít frighten me anymore because I have been married to your sister for the past 30 years."
A married man had three children. He named them NC, MC and ABC. When asked what they meant, he said: Natural Curiosity, Mutual Consent and Absolute Bloody Carelessness.
A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard month of fighting for their king. "How are we faring?" asks the king. "Sire," replies the knight, "We have been robbing, raping, and pillaging on your behalf all month, burning the towns of your enemies in the west."
"What?!" shrieks the king. "I donít have any enemies to the west!" "Oh," says the knight. "Well, you do now, sire."
A blackjack dealer and a player with a 13 count in his hand were arguing about whether or not it was appropriate to tip the dealer. The player said, "When I get bad cards, itís not the dealerís fault. Accordingly, when I get good cards, the dealer obviously had nothing to do with it so, why should I tip him?"
The dealer said, "When you eat out do you tip the waiter?"
"Yes." "Well then, he serves you food, Iím serving you cards so you should tip me."
"Okay, but, the waiter gives me what I ask for."
ó Compiled by Sunil Sharma