A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with the old rancher. "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
"Okay, but donít go in that field over there."
Reaching into his pocket, he removed his badge and said, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me. This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish, on any land."
The rancher nodded politely. "Iím sorry," and with that he went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams. He looked up and saw the DEA officer running for his life with the rancherís big Santa Gertrudis bull in hot pursuit.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Show him your BADGE officer, show him your badge."
"But what if my wife finds out?"
"Heck, this is a new age we live in, Bill. Go ahead and tell her about it!"
So Bill went home and said, "Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together."
"Forget it," said his wife. "I've tried that, it never worked."
"Save your energy lady," he said, "I got a good look at you when you came on board."
"I only pay $25 for my own haircut!" said the woman indignantly.
The groomer replied, "That may be true, but then you donít bite, do you?"
Unimpressed, the judge said, "Do you have any witnesses who can vouch for your character?"
The young man pointed to a man in the corner. "Sure, the sheriff over there."
Taken by surprise, the sheriff stood up and declared, "Your Honour, this man is a liar. I have never seen him before in my life!"
The young man turned to the judge and said, "See? I have lived here for 15 years and the sheriff doesn't know me, ain't that character reference enough, Your Honour?"
ó Compiled by Sunil Sharma