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As the blood-spattered painter was being led from his house, his wife saw a crowd of onlookers gathered across the street. Never at a loss for words, the wife called loudly to Zack, "Next time, you’ll eat what I cook." UNDER CONTROL My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "Yes, it’s all under control. It’s been a very busy day, I haven’t stopped for a minute." "Can you do me a favour?" he asked. I said, "Of course, anything, what is it?" He said, "Hurry up and take your shot, I’m right behind you on the 7th hole." Family resemblance Two little sisters were having a discussion about family resemblance. "I look like Mom," said the nine-year-old, "but I have Dad’s eyes and Dad’s lips." Her six-year-old sister said, "And I look just like Dad, but I have light hair." Then she turned to me. "Mom," she asked, "what does Dad have to do with us being born anyway?" Her older sister jumped right in. "Don’t be silly. Dad is the one who drove Mom to the hospital." Dental form At the dentist’s office for oral surgery, a patient was handed a couple of forms to fill out. As he signed the first one, he joked with the receptionist, "Does this say that even if you pull my head completely off, I can’t sue you?" "No sir, that’s the next sheet. This one says you still have to pay us." Bringing up kids After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing diapers. "I’m busy," he said, "I’ll do the next one." The next time came around and she asked again. The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn’t mean the next diaper. I meant the next baby." TIME FOR A Divorce An elderly woman goes into a lawyer’s office. "I need your help in arranging a divorce." "A divorce? "Tell me, how old are you?" "I’m 84." "Eighty-four! And how old is your husband?" "My husband is 87." "My, my, and how long have you been married?" "Next September will be 62 years." "Married for 62 years? Why would you want a divorce now?" "Because... enough is enough." — Compiled by Sunil
Sharma
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Zack was painting a
tilt-in window when the latch gave way and the glass broke on his
head.`A0His cuts were minor but the bleeding was profuse. The
paramedics arrived with screaming sirens and were followed by two
squad cars and an ambulance.`A0After they bandaged the victim’s
head, it was decided that he should go with them to the hospital for
stitches.
Gold coins and the jar within which they were unearthed during recent excavations at a Crusader fortress in Apollonia National Park, are displayed near Herzliya. The ancient jar containing a collection of 108 gold coins dating back to the Mamluk era was discovered a week ago during a joint venture by Tel Aviv University and the Nature and Parks Authority aimed at exploring the layers of the almost destroyed fortress on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea. 