Modern-day theories
Jaspal Bhatti

Pala said, "Oye Baley, have you heard the about the modern theory of Beni Prasad Verma?" Bala asked, "Who is Beni Prasad Verma?" Pala said, "Beni Prasad is the Union Minister for Steel who has a hypothesis that if we increase inflation, farmers will benefit. He claimed this on Eid and instantly shot into fame because of this hypothesis on economic reforms." Bala replied, "He might have mistaken Eid for Holi and eaten bhang."

Pala said, "No, he was in his senses and had been greeting many people 'Eid mubarak'. I find his theory very convincing. As he says, inflation can benefit farmers. Similarly, if we increase crime, the police will also benefit." Bala said, "True bhaji, on a similar basis, we should also increase the road accident rate and spread some viral diseases so as to give benefit to doctors." Pala said, "Advocates can any day appeal to the general public for more family and civil disputes to help them become financially better off."

When the Home Minister of India was summoned by Soniaji and asked to explain the steps he had taken to bring peace to the North-East, he said, "Going by Beni Prasad Verma's theory, we are going to spread violence so as to bring peace."

Illustration: Sandeep Joshi