Webside humour

Problem-solving photo

Husband: “You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?” Wife: “When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture, and the problem disappears.” Husband: “You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?” Wife: “Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ‘what other problem can there be greater than this one?

Fishing facts

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe. So the next morning, the two met at the dock and took off in Sam’s boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done. Sam’s approach was simple: He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it into the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up. Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam, "You can’t do this! I’ll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!"

Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words: "Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?"

Eerie ears

Two men were working at a sawmill and one guy got too close to the saw and cut his ear off. It fell in the sawdust pit so he jumped down into the pit and was hunting around trying to find it. The second guy saw him and hollered down, "What’re you doing?"The first man said that he had cut off his ear and was looking for it. The second guy said, "I’ll help you" and jumped in the pit. He was searching around on his hands and knees and then hollered, "I found it!" The first guy took it and examined it closely, then said, "Keep looking. Mine had a pencil behind it."

Stunning spouse

Bob was in his usual place in the morning sitting at the table, reading the paper after breakfast. He came across an article about a beautiful actress about to marry a football player who was known primarily for his lack of common knowledge and his fairly low IQ. He turned to his wife Marlene with a look of question on his face. "I’ll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most beautiful wives."

Marlene replies, "Well thank you, dear!"